When you’ve finished a spot of shopping, you go back to the car and………
- The car-key isn’t working – (insert some effing and jeffing). It was fine earlier! Keep ineffectually pressing button on the key and experience mild panic that the battery must have gone.
- Suddenly notice a large scratch and dent in the driver’s door which wasn’t there earlier. Wonder in bafflement how the king hell that could have happened?
- Lick fingers unceremoniously and rub at the gash and dent to see if it comes off with the application of fresh spittle. It doesn’t.
- Consider having to ‘fess up to husband for scratch crimes you haven’t committed.
- Take a step back and notice other worrying scratches and defacements on the car.
- Anxiously feel up these marks too and allow rising panic to ensue while considering all the cosmetic panel beating/respraying unexpectedly required on your new not-new car.
- Notice half of a hubcap hanging off … get angry and start stalking round the car looking for other acts of random vandalism!
- Be asked by a parking attendant if you are ‘ok’. Say “I can’t believe what someone has done to my car, I was only gone an hour!”
- Feel victimised and consider calling local Police Station.
- Look up to search for a CCTV Camera or any possible innocent bystanders as eye witnesses but notice something else instead……….
- Walk quietly away from your car and take small stealthy sideways steps towards your actual car.
- Concede that the parking attendant’s audible laughing is acceptable fall out.
Not my car. My car.
If you have been affected by anything raised in this blog post, please feel free to pop it in comments………..
As you were!