7.Village Survival, Ahh the Easter Hols!

5 things
So what do you love and love not so much about the school hols? It would be great to hear in comments below. Why not follow to get my post every Monday!
My top 5 – Things I have loved about this school hols: 

1.Being in our (egg/porridge stained) PJs for breakfast and morning sofa surfing.

2.Numerous and spontaneous cuddles (yay) and other random acts of love such as Lottie writing I love you Mummy XXX in capitals all over the cover of my new Orla Kiely notebook (It was a birthday present – must admit to crying a little inside too). 

3.Eating the kids forgotten Easter Eggs.

4.Skiving off work.

5.Planning cool child friendly days out around the proximity of a decent coffee shop/cafe.

My top 5 – Things I have loved not so much about this school hols:

1.Den building in the lounge with all the dining room chairs, cushions, wooly throws, cardboard boxes, duvets and every soft toy from upstairs. Loving the creative play aspect though – of course!!!

2.Poop Trumpers (a little bit like Top Trumps only grosser) what I don’t know about poop can be written in capitals on a gnat’s arse or on a gnat’s poop even! – #hilarious if you’re 8! #like a frontal lobotomy if you’re 40.

3.Nagging about over use of screens and worse – double devicing (watching TV and playing on iPad).

4.Stepping on lego, and always the sharpest bits!

5.Getting acne from eating the kids forgotten Easter Eggs and toiling into the small hours to make up work time (technically that’s two isn’t it, my blog, my rules!)
So anyway, generally speaking what’s not to like about the Easter holidays? I love the fact that we can regroup as a family and as I said in my last post, it’s the beginning of longer and hopefully sunnier days. Winter has finally realised it has outstayed it’s welcome like the in-laws at Christmas and canvas shoes (insert fave brand) are now a possibility but coats and jackets you are not excused yet. Here are a couple of our hols highlights so far. I won’t bore you with the rainy days when we stayed in and the kids made a den in the lounge with all the dining room chairs/lounge cushions, throws and soft toys from upstairs and I rocked quietly in the kitchen whilst mainlining their forgotten Easter eggs.

Before you read on and if you want any backstory – my about. Also follow me for a new post every Monday, making Monday MonYay!

Easter Hols Highlight no 1. Last Summer on holiday in Cornwall, Ted (my husband and this is relevant) bought us a years membership to the National Trust (on a whim- convinced by the sales patter of the old NT dear who was peddling them) at a coastal carpark and ever since I’ve been on a mission to enjoy it, use it and so help me god, get my money’s worth. I have been doing an informal tot up of what we would have spent (had we been non members) and when we went over the membership cost for the year I definitely did a skippy jump and a triumphant fist pump! So we picked one of the sunny days last week and I actually sorted out a picnic (though I knew the Cafe did a particularly good take-away  latte – all was well in my little world). The high point was playing croquet on the lawn (we managed a whole /match/game/chukka? without squabbling!) and the low point was when Toby (aged 8) helpfully pointed out to the elderly volunteer (as he welcomed us in so warmly) that the Mens toilet had a big poo stain in it, yes I was mortified. But I also found it vaguely amusing when Lottie (aged 6) asked another  volunteer elsewhere in the stately home if a painting on the wall (some old crone with a ginger beard from 200 years ago) was Ed Sheeran – in her defence -she’s 6 and thought it really was Ed Sheeran. When I was a child I vowed that if I had children myself I wouldn’t make them go to Stately Homes (what does Stately even mean) but sometime in my late 30s I woke up one morning and thought that taking my kids around crusty old buildings that really weren’t interesting to them (apart from the dressing up room and the adventure playground) would be a marvellously good idea, and culturally/historically beneficial to their education/wellbeing – or some such bleeugh. This was about the same time I decided that Macky Dees was crap in a bun and monosodium glutamate was no longer acceptable in my life. Perhaps it was because my parents put me through the Stately Home thing and I had every intention of passing the joy down the lineage! #They’ll appreciate it when they hit their 30s and look back on the rich (NT) tapestry of their childhoods!!
Easter Hols Highlight no 2. Every year on the weekend before Easter our local Ice cream parlour opens for the season. This is a mahooosive high point in the calendar because not only is it an award winning Ice Cream purveying Parlour (housed in a lovely olde worlde Mill) and Farm with a fab coffee shop but it also has an adventure playground and a petting zoo. As you will know – if you mix children with ice cream it’s always advisable to do so in an open space and preferably with some sort of physical activity to hand and it’s equally imperative to touch some pooey lambs before they eat said ice cream! Me, Anna, Lorelle (newbie to the village American Mom) and Babs (another mum friend of ours from the village) all met up at Mill Farm Ice Cream Parlour for a few hours of frolics and fresh air – who am I kidding, we were just there for the ice cream. The frozen confectionary is made on site, and the milk comes directly from the huge dairy herd on the farm. The sh*tty stench of cow poop (or should I say slurry – great word) on arrival at the car park never seems to put anyone off. Anyway, this Ice cream parlour wins awards (for flavours and originality) in Devon and all over the South West because the ice cream is soooo amazing and they come up with some pretty novel flavours such as:- Hedgerow Heaven: elderflower, blackberries and hazelnut. Jolly Jodhpurs: horse hair, sawdust and hay – just checking you were concentrating! – it’s made with vanilla, pear and dark chocolate. Corn Fields: honeycomb, toffee chunks and caramel streaks. Ploughed Fields: artisan chocolate flavour, chocolate shavings, and homemade chocolate sauce, and Orchard Overture – plum, passionfruit, raspberries with mint. Do you see what I mean, they rock out some great flavours as well as the usual every-dayers such as vanilla, rum’n’raisin and mint choc chip which seem rather dull in comparison, and if E L James and her 50 Shades has taught us anything – it’s that vanilla is not the only way! We Mums were very sensible indeed, we queued up with our 8 kids (in total) and bought the children child sized ice creams: cue lots of pushing and shoving, squabbling, umming and ahhing and I wants for different sauces and sprinkles, cue my best ‘Sainsburys’ patient voice that I call upon when the kids are whining in the supermarket/other public places and I’m trying to hide that fact their behaviour is totes doing my head in. We quietly watched the kids inhale their treats and then once they were off and all over the Adventure Playground, we slunk back inside to order our adult sized ice creams with extra toppings and double shot lattes – yum! Good friends, good ice cream and a bit of sunshine – it’s a beautiful thing!

ice creams copy

Inspirational and motivational words for the day: eat good ice cream with good friends and that is all really.
Oh yeah, I might even have a house keeping tip this week! Hold onto your aprons ladies, gents and other carers! Have you got lots of forgotten chocolate hanging around which you can’t help nibbling on but it’s giving you acne/headaches/constipation. Melt it down, make a chocolate cake and pop it round to your elderly neighbour as a treat. You get a warm & fuzzy and they get the acne! Not a bad tip huh? We tried this, but Mr Tatcombe wasn’t in so the kids and I had to eat it! Cue – my concealer!
More next week.
As you were.
PS Word up from the Wild Animal Sanctuary is that the Swan who was partly responsible for the ruination of the Village Easter Egg Hunt last week is going to make a full recovery and will be released back onto the river in our village in the next few weeks (Ahh.) 6.Village survival, when the Easter Egg Hunt went a bit….
PPS Have been beavering away with my new novel most evenings and it’s really starting to get somewhere. The scores are in: New Novel 1 – Neglected Husband 0 😦 (will make it up to him at the weekend).
PPPS Turns out Thatcher Man has flirted with Lorelle and Babs too! Do not feel nearly so special now! 5. Village survival, nearly the four day weekend!
PPPPS Having to wear tights or thin socks with my traitorous Converse-that for no reason at all have started rubbing my left heal again. I’ll always forgive them and they know it.
Will let you get on now! x
Note to myself: The one about 5 l loves and love not so much about the Easter holidays. NT day out highlight and the opening of our local Ice Cream parlour for the season (yay).

Cuddle Fairy

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