So it’s snowing again, this time in flippin’ March!
It was a novelty a few weeks ago wasn’t it? A final swansong to winter, or so we thought! Aside from the unpleasant aspects of this particular kind of precipitation – the treacherous roads and dangers to the most vulnerable in society – much of the country got involved and we all made an effort with constructing snowmen and tobogganing on almost anything that wouldn’t defy gravity. We over zealous bobble-hatted, snow-booted enthusiasts happily quaffed hot chocolate like it was going out of fashion! Children the length and breadth of the country were snow angelling in celebration at all the school closures whilst *uploading 10,000 snow-related selfies per minute!
Marvelous, the first time!
Here we are again!
Snow In March Part 2: The Revenge….just when you thought it was safe to leave the log cabin…..(in a cinema near you, rated no stars).
Seriously, snow is only really cool when holidaying in the Alps while drinking coffee/eating french fries on an alpine restaurant terrace perhaps after an exhilarating morning of off-piste skiing. If you’re here in Blighty trying to get to work or school then you may just be piste-off and snow is in fact just a bit sh!t, even the areas that aren’t suspect yellow or poo brown.
And what about the Spring Daffodils? Even these – the most dedicated of cheerful flowers (registered trademark) have had e-bloody-nough!
Here in my little corner of the world – that’ll be a tiny village in Devon which is located on a big hill and gets cut off after three flakes of snow (omg, the roads are impassable, we’ll have to trap a deer in the woods or eat our much-loved pet). I’ve decided that I won’t be giving the snow the attention it craves on this occasion and I’m going to cheer us all up by talking about the kind of snow that we’d actually be thrilled to see in bastard March:-
Surely no explanation required Game of Thrones fans! A very acceptable and some would say phwoar kind of snow which doesn’t cause road closures!!
The cocktail obvs! Have a root round in your Gran’s drinks sideboard in the front room and see if you can find some Advocaat (**probably went out of date October 2014). Mix with some lime juice and the same amount of lemonade, shake it up in a James Bond stylee (snowsuit from skiing scene in For Your Eyes Only optional) and voila, enjoy! A healthy cocktail (ok, just the lime part) with snow in it which doesn’t cause school/college/university/work closures.
Stuck in-ruddy-doors (yes, you’re snowed in again?) Pop on a bit of Chasing Cars by this cool snow themed band and there you go – another form of acceptable snow which won’t stop the nation’s amazing NHS staff getting to work.
Are there any snows that you prefer? Share the snow love and let me know in comments!
Stay safe out there!
As you were!
*yup, I probably made that up….
** I’m not saying your Gran’s skanky….